We’re probably not the first to make this comparison, but Barack Obama is a lot like singer/songwriter Dave Matthews. On the surface, there’s not a lot to outright hate about either of them. However, try spending five minutes with one of their hardcore fans. You’ll find yourself wishing AIDS on both men just to spite their awful, awful supporters.
In honor of Obama’s inauguration, we’ve compiled a list of the ten most annoying Barak Obama supporters. Some are celebrities, and some are just random YouTube assholes. It’s not a perfect list, but considering there are literally millions of these “yes we can” chanting turds to choose from, I think we did a pretty good job.
So, without further ado…
10. will.i.am (Musician - The Blacked Peas)
“A new day is dawning. One where people deal with one another with respect…”
This from a man who sings Let’s Get Retarded in Here. I hope somebody uses a tire iron to knock that stupid hat off your head. By the way, Where is the Love is one of the worst songs ever recorded.
9. THISISMYCATFACE (YouTube Poster)
“How about (a) student loan amnesty where everyone is forgiven for their student loans.”
Yeah, that’s a great fucking idea. The entire financial sector is crumbling because assholes like you can’t make their mortgage payments. But hey, fuck it. It’s only billions and billions of dollars that people knowingly borrowed and agreed to pay back. Why should they be forced to pay?
You know, I don’t like paying for ice cream, either. Everyday should be free fucking ice cream day. And we should swap weekends with weekdays. That way everyone will only have to work for two days, and we can spend the other five days eating our free ice cream!
Or maybe you can use your fucking education to get a job and pay back your loans, you fucking deadbeat.
8. My Friend John (Dumb Cunt)
My friend John has had a daily countdown to the inauguration on his gmail status for the past month. It’s been horrible.
I can fucking tell time, asshole. I have a calendar! You like Obama. I get it. Now shut the fuck up!
7. Jason (Youtube Poster - Balloon Animal Maker)
“I was thinking that maybe we could put a dollar-a-gallon tax on gasoline…”
Gee, great idea, Jason. Especially for an asshole New Yorker like yourself who is able to take public transportation everywhere.
I’ve got a better idea. Why doesn’t the federal government put a $300,000 dollar-per-year tax on asshole street performers?
6. Lady Gaga (I have no idea who this is, but I guess she’s famous…?)
“I wanna sing songs…that make you wanna just dance.”
“Lady Gaga” might be the most annoying person on this list. Listening to her talk is like dropping acid and listening to your grandparents have sex. Take it from me, it’s bad.
Hey “Lady Gaga!” If you want to dress like a street whore, that’s your business. But you’re addressing the leader of the free world. Would it kill you to put on some fucking pants? Seriously.
5. Spike Lee (Mediocre Director)
“This thing is pre-deortained…”
It takes an arrogant son of a bitch to imply the candidate he voted for was sent here by god. It takes an even more pompous asshole to make up a new word while doing it.
For the record, I still haven’t forgiven Spike for burning down Danny Aiello’s pizza shop in Do the Right Thing. He was the only nice white guy in your neighborhood, asshole! Way to prove that all the bigots who moved away were right!
At any rate, I hope Obama does bring about a “post-racial” America so I won’t have to watch any more of Spike’s bullshit.
(Bonus) Scarlett Johansson (Large Breasted Actress)
“Granted, I have, ya know, 19-year-old breasts.”
God I want to hatefuck you.
4. Andrew (YouTube Poster - Shitty Poet)
“Dear Mr. President, the hero with 50 faces…”
Ugh. As if it wasn’t bad enough to watch a grown man recite a poem about another grown man, you had to go and recite it while wearing a pretentious little hat.
If you wear a hat indoors there’s a 97% chance you voted for Obama, and a 100% chance that you’re a douchebag.*
*Does not apply to cancer patients, burn victims, space-aged bounty hunters, etc.
3. Cornell West (Professor)
“Brother Barack, blah blah blah,”
I had to listen to this asshole complain that Obama’s convention speech didn’t reach out to blacks. Guess what, “Brother Cornell!” He didn’t have to fucking reach out to blacks. He had blacks in the bag the moment his blackish ass crawled out of his mother’s womb! He had to reach out to fucking hillbillies! And you don’t win over hillbillies by impersonating Malcolm X, you over-educated dipshit.
2. Hillary Clinton (Secretary of State and Really Bad Judge of Character)
“Shame on you, Barack Obama…”
One minute Obama is a dangerously unqualified opportunist who defends slumlords and hangs out with known terrorists, and the next he’s the best choice to lead our country. Strange, no?
Well, what do you expect from a woman who “trusted” George W. Bush on Iraq, and “trusted” William J. Clinton on fidelity. With that track record it’s no wonder Obama chose her to be our county’s chief negotiator. Ugh.
1. Oprah Winfrey (Satan)
I think the video clips above speak for themselves. I’ll never fully trust a man who has Oprah Winfrey as his chief supporter…unless of course he rethinks closing down Guantanamo and sends her there.
If you liked that Obama related garbage, check out this Obama related garbage…
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