Archive for April 3rd, 2009

Gorilla Mask sends me a lot of traffic, so repay the favor by looking at these (almost) naked women!
You know you live in the Ghetto When… - …your ice-cream truck is bump’n.
Not Today, Mother Fucker! - Hey Aliens, if you thought today was the day…well, you were seriously mistaken.
The Murray Hill Song - If you know any Jews who live in Murray Hill (or you are one) you’ll probably like this song. If not, fuck you, ya anti-Semite!
“First of all: fuck you” - This guy takes his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles seriously.
Mr. Poopy Pants - Another hard-hitting article from CNN.
Happy Birthday From The Pedo Bear - “I heard you were turning 9.”
Stren’s Prank Caller Hits Fox News During Hostage Standoff - Wow, that was fast!
Fuck My Life - One of the better Fuck My Life’s I’ve seen in a while.

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STRASBOURG, France (SP) — Another barrier toward racial equality was swept away on Friday as Michelle Obama became the first African-American First Lady to use a bidet.

Mrs. Obama, who is accompanying her husband at a NATO summit in France, used the bidet at around 9:00 a.m. local time, shortly after defecating in a nearby toilet. Wearing a bright yellow dress from one of her favorite designers, Jason Wu, the First Lady gracefully hiked up the garment, squatted over the bidet, and turned on the tap.

Around 30 people were on hand to witness the historic event, including several members of the press, as well as a dozen supporters who were chosen by lottery.

One such supporter was 100-year-old Lillian Jones, who traveled all the way from Cleveland to watch the first lady wash her undercarriage. Jones, whose grandfather was born a slave, grew up at a time when many African-Americans were forbidden from using the same toilets as whites.

“I didn’t think I would live to see the day,” a tearful Jones said while watching the First Lady gently scrub her genitalia, inner buttocks, and anus. “My grandfather would be so thrilled to see this.”

While the American press was focused on the historic nature of the event, their European counterparts seemed more concerned with an unintended gaffe committed by the First Lady, whose perineum lightly grazed the bidet’s faucet handle during her initial squat. Touching the handle in such a manner is considered a major faux pas in most European countries, excluding Serbia.

However, hotel officials were quick to downplay the incident.

“We don’t issue instructions on touching or not touching the handle with your genitals,” said a hotel worker who asked not to be identified because of hotel policy.

The Obamas will be traveling to Germany later today.

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