7 Creepy Asian Toilet Commercials

Asians are years ahead of the West when it comes to toilet technology, and I’ve got the creepy commercials to prove it.

7. If the only black guy in Japan stops by your apartment to drop a deuce, make sure to stand right outside the door and talk to him while he’s washing his anus with the built-in bidet. It’s the polite thing to do.

6. This South Korean commercial uses subtlety to tout its built in bidet. By subtlety, I mean jet-streams of water shooting up people’s asses while pseudo-Louis Armstrong music blares in the background.

5. In this ad, the Japanese attempt to answer an age-old question; who is better equipped to install your self-cleaning toilet seat? Is it the giant chicken, or the giant frog?

4. When I was a child and I shit my pants, father would force me to disrobe in front of my brothers and sisters and then rub my nose in the mess I’d made. But in Japan they teach their children not  to crap themselves through song, dance, and talking-robot toilets. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

3. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on in this commercial. However, I am fairly certain that the actor needs to be near a toilet at all times due to a severally weakened sphincter muscle.

2. Still wondering about the frog and the chicken? Well, forget about them. When it comes to the question of installing a self-cleaning toilet seat, giant penguins are the only answer.

1. There’s a lot to like about this commercial from China. After all, it repeatedly shows animated demonstrations of an anus filling with water and the liquefaction of solid feces. But the ad somehow manages to top itself at the 3:40 mark when it shows just how difficult using regular toilet paper can be.

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