The 2010 NFL season in upon us. Normally, I’m happy for football’s return. But this year is different. Unlike years past, I have a well-paying job that I actually like. Why does that matter? I’ll tell you why. It’s much easier to be a degenerate, drunken gambler when you hate your job. Binge drinking all day on Sunday and the inevitable three-day hangover that follows is much easier to deal with when you don’t give a damn if you get fired. Vomiting at your desk, sleeping in the conference room, not showing up at all: what’s the worst they can do to stop you when they have no leverage.

But now things are different. I don’t want to get fired, which means I have to be responsible, which means I have to drink less, which means I’ll have to watch the boring games sober, which means I’m going to gamble more to make them exciting, which means I’m going to lose more money, which means I’m going to need to drink more, which means I’ll be hung over, which means I’ll probably lose my job.

You can see me predicament.

Well, since I’m going to lose my job anyway, I might as well double down on the gambling. Maybe I can win enough to sustain myself until I find another job after the Super Bowl. I’m not one to make football predictions, but one thing is for certain. Brett Favre is going to break both his knees in the first week. Bet on it…with me. No, seriously, send me an email.

Some douche bag named Joe Breezy decided it would be a good idea to chug a bottle of Patron Tequila. I’m not sure if he seriously thought he could do it, or if it was a “Jackass” style stunt. Either way, it was fun to watch him puke all over himself. I only wish he had puked blood, and that he had died at the end. Next time.

Click Here to Watch Some Douche Try to Chug Patron

Poor Kermit. I guess you don’t have someone’s hand up your ass for that long with out getting pretty damn attached.

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Pervert Cat can’t take his eyes of that ass. Don’t judge him. You didn’t even know there was a cat in the video until I mentioned it. Sicko.

Click Here to Watch a Cat Watch a Girl’s Ass

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Here’s a pointless video of porn stars Hanna Hilton and Faye Reagan dancing around in bikinis. Why is it pointless? Because a quick Google search will bring up a video of the same two girls sans bikinis doing awful things to each other. At any rate, you’re already here, so enjoy.

Watch Hanna Hilton and Faye Reagan Skank It Out for 14 Seconds

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Sometimes the Internet shows me a video that makes me realize what an awful planet we live on. This is one such video. But I’m sure you’ll enjoy watching a monkey mouth raping a helpless frog…cause you’re sick.

Click Here to Watch a Chimp Mouth-Rape a Frog, You Sick Bastard…

This made us laugh like hell, but we’re not sure why. Eh, who cares.

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As if Ultimate Muscle Roller Legend wasn’t creepy enough, we bring you the Dober-Man. He’s 50% doberman, 50% man, and 100% horrifying.

Click Here to Watch “The Dober-Man Video